Maybe you tried to start a conversation too soon, or maybe you simply tried to open the lines of communication too much. Regardless of the method that got you to this point, you're currently at a standstill. Your ex just isn't responding the way you'd like - or at all. The good news is that there are certainly ways to overcome even this kind of challenge to win your ex back and get your relationship back on track. The bad news is that it's going to take some time, some patience and some dedication along the way in order to accomplish your goals - but hardship is no cause to give up and call it quits.
Take a second to think back to a different breakup you went through. Even if you were the one that called it off, there were some significant emotions that came along with ending a relationship that you had been invested in. Your ex is going through the same thing right now. Understanding that can be the key to your overall success to win back their heart as long as you choose your path carefully and don't fall victim to impulse that can limit your opportunities to communicate in the future.
Acting with Dignity and Choosing Wisely:
It may be easier to just go with your instincts and allow the emotional side of the breakup to take over. In order to increase your chances for success, however, you need to put your impulses aside and try to examine the situation rationally. Finding the balance between the emotional and rational side may be easier said than done, but it is absolutely vital that you keep your emotions in check and continue to act in a way that doesn't diminish your self-respect in your own eyes - and in the eyes of your ex. Using the following guidelines for behavior that can move your forward as well as things that should be avoided can help you through the initial stages and get you to the point where communication can be reestablished beneficially.
- Don't Continue the Pursuit:
You may have a lot of unanswered questions for your ex that you legitimately deserve answers to, but now is not the time to pursue that line of thought. All that pursing them will accomplish is pushing them even further away from contact with you and is counter-productive to what you hope to accomplish. While your questions may be valid, your timing isn't - just be patient and believe that you'll be able to talk to them about the situation later on down the road.
- Don't fall into the trap of Self-Pity:
Being dumped automatically creates negative feelings and can easily progress into a downward spiral. Keep in mind, however, that the sooner you can overcome the wealth of negative emotions, the sooner you can begin the process of trying to reconnect with your ex. Instead of allowing your doubt to overwhelm you, choose to use this time to focus on your positive characteristics and keep your eye on the prize - a renewed relationship with your ex that has the potential to last.
- Enjoy some social input:
It may seem harder than normal to put yourself out there, but it's a definitive and important process towards recovery. Your social network is not only a built-in support network to help get you through these difficult times, but you want to make sure that you're creating a positive image that will get through to your ex. If your ex sees you out and about instead of sitting on the couch throwing a pity party, they're going to wonder what your secret is. Maybe they'll think you've moved on or found someone new. No matter what they think, you're on their mind - and that's an important piece of the puzzle to eventually communicating and winning back their heart.
- Think about the past productively:
You don't want to wallow in the past, but you do want to think about the process of when you and your ex first got together. What caused them to notice you out of all the potential people they could be with? What were you like when you first got together? It's possible to revamp your image and become the person that they initially fell for again. Not only can it help you feel better about yourself, it will make your ex remember the way things used to be as well. That fact goes a long way in reestablishing communication and getting the ball rolling in the right direction again.
Why They Seem to be Giving You the Cold Shoulder:
If your ex just isn't responding to any of your phone calls or messages, it's usually for one of two possible causes. Either you didn't wait long enough after the breakup to make initial contact, or you've gone overboard and contacted them too much. They're not going to realize that they made a potential mistake in leaving you if they don't have the chance to miss you first - and that simply won't happen until you give them some space to breathe. Not only does the distance work in your favor, but it also allows you some valuable time to come to terms with the situation on your own and make a plan going forward.
Going into the situation blind isn't going to do you any favors. You certainly need to have a plan in place that requires more than one step towards your end goal. Along the way, it's important to pay attention to the reaction you're getting, and that means that you have to be willing to put yourself in your ex's shoes. Understanding their thought process can be critical to your success, and there are many different avenues to explore. Overall, your plan is going to reunite you and your ex as long as you're willing to put in the effort and be patient. All of your hard work is going to pay off if you play your cards right.
What To Do Next
Being dumped can come as a massive shock, especially if your ex is no longer talking to you. If you acquire the right knowledge then your chances of winning back your ex will be vastly improved.
You can win your ex back. Knowing how to manage contact with your ex is one of the most important steps towards getting your relationship back on track again. Knowing how to avoid breakup mistakes is also essential if you want to achieve your goal.
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/communication/why-wont-my-ex-talk-to-me-the-truth
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